Yes, Pookie, Getting Old Isn’t for ...

My wife had an old saying she used a lot. Simply put, she said, “Getting old isn’t for wimps!”

Like most young adults, she and I never really thought much about aging. The aches and pains associated with growing older always seemed to be so far away.

Well, not so anymore! And yup, getting old isn’t for wimps.

I laughed at George Burns, then in his 90’s, when he said, “You know, my knees give me a few problems now. Bending over can be a real challenge, as can getting back up. So, before I bend over to tie my shoes, I always try to think of something else I might need to do while I’m down there.”

Well, I’m not laughing now. I, like many other seniors, understand ol’ George only too well. But, as with George, most seniors try to look at the brighter, rather than the darker, side of entering the Golden Age.

We, seniors, should never forget this quote by George Bernard Shaw, “You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.”

What better prescription for seniors to start out a new day than to have a good laugh?

Now, Cavern City seniors, here are a few more laughable quotes made by names that most of you should recognize, that I hope will brighten up your day. So, here goes…

1. “My doctor told me that running would add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel 10 years older already.” Milton Berle

2. “I’m very pleased to be here. But, let’s face it, at my age, I’m pleased to be anywhere.” George Burns

3. “The best thing about growing old is that it takes a long time to get there.” Bob Hope

4.”I told my wife when I die, I wanted to die in bed. She looked at me and said, ‘Again!’” Rodney Dangerfield

5. “I’m still making movies, and I’m a senior citizen. So, when I go to the cinema, I get to watch myself for half price.” George Burns

6. “Like Burt Reynolds, I get up five or six times a night. Only not for the same reason.” Anonymous

7. “The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has already expired.” Milton Berle

8. “I resent my barber for charging me the full price after he cuts my hair. But he tells me that he’s not charging me anything for cutting my hair. He’s charging me for having to find it!” Tim Conway

9. “I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to be spending the rest of my life.” George Burns

10. “We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.” Will Rogers

Golf and Senior Linksters

Listening to a sports program on my radio as I drove through the Ozarks a few days ago brought about a few chuckles from this senior linkster.

The station was interviewing a blue-chip high school athlete who had just won a prestigious golf tournament in the area.

When asked about which holes he preferred playing on the course that he had just chalked up a victory on, the young man answered without hesitation.

“It’s definitely all of the par 5’s,” he said quite confidently. “I hit my driver really well, and with a good shot off the tee, I can usually get close to the green in two.”

“Hmmm. Guess that’s why I must like all the par 3’s so much,” I chuckled. “With a good shot off the tee, I can usually get close to the green in two also.”

Go, seniors!